TATER

Much like face to face interactions- we all say things sometimes we regret, it's human. I did indeed open my big mouth and not think it through, and I genuinely felt bad about it. The fellow blogger very politely pointed out that she understood what I was saying and that it came from no malice, but it wasn't the right place for such a comment.. I did learn a very important lesson, no doubt. And did sincerely apologize, because I was totally in the wrong. Luckily she graciously accepted my apology and no hard feelings, I hope! At least this seems to be the case, as it was a bit back.

And anything you said I feel sure was not meant with any intent of malice, you simply haven't it in you. But sometimes things do get misconstrued, and sometimes we really don't express things the way we really meant to, in respect to intent. It happens. All you can do is apologize sincerely, just like in a face to face conversation that went wrong..

Personally, your support and affection have meant a lot to me, so I have no doubt that your 'moments" as you put it, have been very few and far between.

That makes me feel a tad better, thank you sis. There are times in my life that I just wish I could erase a day, but I guess us stubborn bulls in the china closet need opportunities to learn...

I've done it, too. I've left a comment, and gone back to read subsequent comments only to realize what I meant to say and what was heard were two different things. In those cases, I follow up with a clarifying message. Nothing wrong with re-posting and saying you are sorry, were out of line, didn't come across as intended, was in a bad mood, etc. I think you've established yourself as someone we would all give the benefit of the doubt. As you so accurately point out, the written word is tricky business without the normal interpersonal cues.

"Have you ever had one of those "duh" moments when you realize you should have really stopped to proof read, rephrase, or simply delete, before hitting the send button? "

Um, no! everything I write has always, in every case, hit the intended target, and if there was the slight possibility that it did not, well then that very clearly is the fault of the person on the receiving end. Clearly they are inferior to me..

Of course I would love that to be the case, but due to that trait common to all, something I have heard referred to as human nature, well it's just not the case. In my view, the ability to miss step is, in and of itself, a gift. If the interaction was one where you never took the chance, though it may be a simply elegant example of polite and erudite discourse, is it anything else?

Being open and vulnerable to, well, being open and vulnerable, is the point.

:) Thanks for your stories and advice. Big hugs to a certain someone out there.

I've gotten into my share of flame wars because of the wording of my comments on blogs. I'm very sarcastic in person and it tooke me way too long to realize that spoken sarcasm and written sarcasm are two very different animals. I don't think I've said something thoughtless about a friend, but that's only because I try not to talk about them on my blog without getting their permission first and then I end up overthinking and editing what I write. Still, I'm sure it's only a matter of time before I do something stupid.

Oh,I've been flip,and smartass,and so very many times have gone back in sobriety to wonder at the interperetation of things I may have said...
Know this to be true;
I know what lies in the hearts of my blog buddies,and they can do no wrong.
I'll look for the best in you my friend.
Always.
Because you have only ever proven to be a decent human being.

The written word is a complex thing - ask Miss Firth my English teacher - and we all make mistakes in wording, particularly when we are typing in a rushed world. Perhaps in the days of pen and ink we took time to think things through but today its often instant response. More than a few times I've hit that send or post button then thought: Oh Lord what have I just written. Not just the grammer and multiple spelling mistakes but the wording that wasn't quite right, that could be misunderstood.

Often I find that I want to comment but don't because I feel that I don't have the right words or what I do say will sound trite or contrived or will intrude. Or I may wait a day or two come back to something and then comment. I can't think of any one instance on commenting but I'm sure I've made some big boo boos. With e-mail well the worst was probably a tirade I sent to a well-known music critic when he made what I considered to be a major faux-pas in facts. I received a polite but at the same time scathing reply and he was right.

As to your mistake, I'm sure that the person the comment was directed at understands and it is all forgotten.

Hey I do it everyday , I type before I think. I also speak before I think, and unfortunately can do this with a straight face, not realizing until too late the victim actually believed me.
I would like to think more, but the energy it takes from my body is just too much.
Now I am off to go inadvertantly offend someone.

Oy, I think it's safe to assume where I stand on this issue. lol

Are you kidding me? I remember a short post I threw up last fall, where you and Tony astutely pointed out a perspective that I had not even considered before I got my rant on. Then the comment string ended up as a discussion of this very subject, which was pretty cool. That was a good one; the bad ones are the comments that come off wrong, the ones you can't undo/edit. It's definitely worse when people don't say anything.

I almost prefer the blatantly off comments, because those are easier to apologize for. It's the ambiguous comments where you hit send, cringe, and then wonder if anyone noticed, did they take it that way, did they know how you meant it, should you say antying or just hope no one noticed.

I relate to Dennis' comment, because I was basically suckled at the teat of sarcasm, and that doesnt' always come across as humorously in writing. And Willym's middle paragraph, who hasn't worried about coming off as trite when reading of serious situations online?

Well, I've been on both ends of this situation more than once, and have been grateful for honest talk and the benefit of the doubt. I must say I really do appreciate it when people actually say something -- addressing it says someone thinks you might just be worth taking the time over.

Confidential to Anonymous:
It's all good.
Sincerely,
A Blogger

hard to believe, my friend. i remember one black and white encounter you and i had, where i replied to something you'd written with my over the top wiggly puppy enthusiasm and then continued to respond because i was laughing and the laughter didn't come through, to it showed up as mad.

crazy, because mad wasn't it. it was funny laughing happy. that's always the risk with this black and white world. it's kind of scary, really, as we move to more and more screen interactions and less actual face to face human connectedness. i suspect we will become more polarized and fractured as a society,less able to see others as just like ourselves.

i admit that i cannot. when i read the right wing zealots online, i think of them as nothing more than conscienceless, soulless machines, as inhuman, and i hate them. that they surely hate me right back doesn't make it a good thing. i could probably meet one of them on the street and find them pleasant and worthwhile if politics never entered the picture.

i kind of despair, a lot of days, for this world and the people in it. i think it's a mark of old fuckedness, and still i despair.